The Best Way to Make New Friends in College

Posted on by Jyoti Kumari

Starting college is a major life event. For many, it’s a new beginning filled with excitement, but also anxiety, especially when it comes to making new friends. Building genuine connections can shape your entire college experience, boosting your happiness, mental health, and even academic success. In this blog, we will explore the right way to make new friends in college, from overcoming fears to practical strategies, while keeping it simple and relatable for everyone.

1. Understand That It’s Normal to Feel Nervous

First and foremost, it’s important to acknowledge that feeling nervous about making friends is completely normal. According to a study by the American College Health Association, over 60% of students reported feeling “very lonely” at some point during their college years (American College Health Association, 2022). Knowing you are not alone in this feeling can help you be kinder to yourself and more open to new experiences.

Recognising your emotions and accepting that forming strong friendships takes time will help you approach the process with patience.

2. Start with a Smile and Small Talk

Never underestimate the power of a genuine smile. Simple gestures like smiling and making eye contact can break the ice effortlessly. Small talk might feel awkward at first, but it serves as a stepping stone to deeper conversations.

According to The Atlantic, small talk is essential because it creates a bridge that can lead to more meaningful conversations over time (The Atlantic, 2018). Asking simple questions like “Where are you from?” or “What’s your major?” can open up avenues for longer chats.

3. Attend Orientation Events and Welcome Activities

Orientation events, campus tours, and welcome parties are perfect opportunities to meet fellow students who are also looking to make friends. These events are specifically designed to help new students settle in and connect.

Research from the National Survey of Student Engagement shows that students who participate actively in campus events tend to have higher satisfaction rates with their college experience (NSSE, 2020). Make it a point to attend these activities, even if you feel shy—you’ll thank yourself later.

4. Join Clubs, Societies, or Sports Teams

Shared interests create strong foundations for friendships. Joining clubs, societies, or sports teams gives you a natural way to meet people who share your passions.

A study by Astin (1999) found that involvement in extracurricular activities positively impacts students’ social and academic development. Whether it’s a book club, a hiking group, or an intramural soccer team, being part of a community with shared interests makes making friends much easier and more natural.

5. Say “Yes” to Invitations

When someone invites you to grab coffee, join a study group, or attend a campus event, try to say “yes” as often as you can—especially in the beginning. Being open to new experiences often leads to unexpected friendships.

Psychologist Dr. Marisa Franco, author of Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make—and Keep—Friends, explains that people who show openness are more likely to form lasting bonds (Franco, 2022). Even if an event doesn’t seem like your thing, the connections you make could be priceless.

6. Be Approachable and Show Genuine Interest

People are drawn to those who seem open, friendly, and genuinely interested in getting to know them. Being a good listener is just as important as being a good talker.

Ask questions, listen actively, and show that you value the other person’s thoughts and experiences. A study published in Psychological Science found that active listening helps build better interpersonal connections and trust (Itzchakov & Kluger, 2018).

Simple actions like nodding, maintaining eye contact, and following up on what someone says show that you care.

7. Connect Through Academics

Classes and study groups offer built-in opportunities to meet new people. If you’re struggling in a course or simply want a study buddy, reach out to your classmates.

Forming a study group not only helps academically but can also lead to strong friendships. Research from the Journal of College Student Development shows that peer academic support improves both academic performance and social integration (Tinto, 1997).

Tip: Sitting in the same area of the classroom each day can also help you get familiar faces to recognise and interact with regularly.

8. Embrace Diversity and Be Inclusive

College campuses are incredibly diverse, filled with students from various backgrounds, cultures, and beliefs. Being open-minded and embracing this diversity can lead to richer, more meaningful friendships.

According to a report from the American Council on Education, students who engage with diverse peers experience greater growth in critical thinking, leadership skills, and empathy (ACE, 2019).

When you show respect for different perspectives, you not only make more friends but also become a more understanding and well-rounded individual.

9. Be Patient and Persistent

Building true friendships doesn’t happen overnight. It often takes weeks—or even months—of consistent effort. Sometimes, initial conversations might not lead to deep connections, and that’s okay.

Psychologist Robin Dunbar, known for Dunbar’s Number theory, suggests that meaningful friendships typically require about 40–60 hours of shared time within a few months to form strong bonds (Dunbar, 2018). So, keep showing up, keep engaging, and trust that meaningful relationships will blossom.

10. Don’t Forget to Be Yourself

Finally, and most importantly, be yourself. Trying to change your personality or pretending to be someone you’re not just to fit in will likely attract the wrong people. Authenticity is key.

Friendships built on honesty and mutual respect are far more likely to last. As Dr. Brené Brown puts it in The Gifts of Imperfection, authenticity allows you to build relationships grounded in true connection (Brown, 2010).

When you are comfortable being yourself, you naturally attract friends who appreciate you for who you are.

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Conclusion

Making new friends in college can seem daunting, but with the right mindset and a few practical steps, it becomes an exciting and fulfilling part of your journey. Start with small steps: smile, say “yes” to new opportunities, join activities you love, and most importantly, be patient and stay true to yourself.

College isn’t just about academics—it’s about growing as a person, building lifelong connections, and creating memories that last a lifetime. With openness, effort, and a little bit of courage, you’ll find your tribe and make your college years some of the best of your life.

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