We all know the five key parts of good communication: Listening, Body Language, Questioning, Feedback, and Assertiveness. Among these, Assertiveness is very important. It helps you express yourself confidently while still respecting others. Being assertive means standing up for yourself, sharing your thoughts and feelings openly, and setting boundaries, like saying “NO” when needed. It also means being open to different ideas. Assertiveness is a powerful tool in communication but is often overlooked. People who practice it become better communicators because it shows they are confident, respectful, and empathetic.
In summary, assertiveness goes beyond mere communication; it is a behavioural trait that enables individuals to express their thoughts and feelings directly and appropriately, contributing to constructive and open interactions.
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The Importance of Assertiveness
Assertiveness is an important skill because it helps people express their thoughts and feelings clearly and respectfully. It allows them to confidently share their needs and set boundaries while also respecting others’ opinions and rights. By being assertive, people can take control of their lives and build honest, healthy relationships.
Identifying Assertive Behaviour
An assertive person knows what is right and shows respect for others. They communicate honestly and openly, staying calm and aware of personal boundaries. Assertive people can accept themselves and others, even when they have different views. It’s important to remember that assertiveness is not the same as being aggressive, even though they are sometimes confused.
Distinguishing Assertiveness from Aggressiveness
Assertive people share their thoughts and feelings clearly while also valuing the thoughts and feelings of others. They try to understand and respect different viewpoints. On the other hand, aggressive people express their thoughts and feelings in a forceful way and often ignore the views of others.
How to practice assertiveness?
1) Avoid Overdoing It
Confidence is important, but it’s key not to overdo it. While being assertive is good, it’s just as important to find a balance and avoid coming across as too self-centered, which might push others away. True confidence doesn’t mean putting others down or comparing yourself to them. Everyone has their own strengths. One of the best ways to show your confidence is through your posture. Stand tall and make eye contact, even if you don’t feel fully confident. So, aim to be confident but not overbearing.
2) Define Your Boundaries
Having clear boundaries can be very helpful. Knowing your limits ahead of time can keep you calm in stressful situations. For example, if a friend often asks for money, decide on an amount you’re comfortable lending and stick to it. Setting clear boundaries allows you to be assertive without being disrespectful, helping you stand up for yourself without causing offense.
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3) Maintaining Your Manners and Values
One of the most important things to remember is to keep your manners and values. It’s crucial not to overlook the importance of being polite. Assertiveness without manners can seem rude and disrespectful. Forgetting simple words like “please” and “thank you” when being assertive can weaken your message. Always treat others with the same respect you would want for your own family members.
Think of each interaction as a chance to use the same good manners you would with your family. Doing this not only makes you look good but also honors the values your family taught you. Treating others with respect shows the values you were raised with. Everyone deserves respect, so it’s important to keep your values in mind. When trying to be assertive, always remember to stay polite and true to your values.
4) Don’t engage in a screaming match
We all get angry sometimes, but it’s important not to lose control of our emotions. Standing up for yourself doesn’t mean yelling. Yelling can make others see you in a negative light, and they may not take you seriously. Always stay polite and calm when expressing yourself. Trust your instincts—they can help you speak up and be assertive in a balanced way. Your instincts also help you know what is appropriate to say. Believe in yourself and your instincts, and avoid getting too angry. There’s no need to escalate conflicts or raise your voice. It’s best to stay calm and keep the peace.
5.Prepare and Practice
Before being assertive, it’s important to prepare. There are times when you need to stand up for yourself, like at work, and it’s not always easy to do so right away. Practice being assertive—maybe in front of a mirror or with a friend. Picture how you would say something difficult to a coworker or teacher. Ask yourself key questions like: What is my goal? What do I want to say? How do I want to say it? Imagine different outcomes, both the best one and the one that worries you the most.
Try discussing these situations with a trusted loved one who is open to role-playing. Saying out loud what you want to communicate at work can help you get ready for those nerve-wracking moments, so you don’t feel tongue-tied or give up. Think about the phrases you find hard to say, like “no” or “I can’t,” and practice them for the future. Preparation and practice can make a big difference, so make sure you get ready and practice well.
Remember, speaking up and standing up for yourself can be hard for some students. It might feel really scary, especially when talking to someone in charge. Keep these tips in mind and keep practicing to become more assertive.
